I’m used to it. It’s what I do best actually. Suppressing my own feelings, putting on the act I’m tough and all. I don’t even cry myself to sleep anymore. I haven’t done it in years to be honest. I only cry at the end of Pride And Prejudice TV mini series, witch I watch at least once a year.
Suppressing my emotions has become a routine now a days. Most of the time i don’t even notice anymore… so it’s ok.
[video]
“
Eric: Oh sweetie, don’t be a fool..
Jason: If I wanna be a fool, I will be a fool! That is my god given right as an American.
” —TRUE BLOOD (S05E12)
(very discretely, behind all the rubbish, they’re actually alright.)
[video]
Yes, well… how about stick it up your arse!
Sorry won’t change the fact, shit happened and I got pissed about it.
..I’m a fortress. And not just a regular fortress. I’m one of those “high tech real advanced for their time Vlad the Impaler* ” kind of fortress. I’m not saying I am impossible to penetrate, but it is damn hard. For instance, one can not tear down the walls using force. Oh no, Your weapons wouldn’t even reach across the lake filed with hungry crocodiles. And alligators to. Almost exclusively by things designed to kill you, as Dylan Moran would say. Oh sure, one may try travel by boat. It protects you from the hungry beasts and you may even get to the bridge. You may even manage to climb on dry land and believe yourself successful. But no, I have not yet opened the gates. Here is where diplomacy will come in handy. You need to be very careful on how you handle this matter, because I will come to meet you at the door, and I will decide if I let you in to my garden or I shove you in to the lake.
But for the sake of the story, let’s assume I let you in. You are now in my garden. I welcome you, you may enjoy my company and feel fairly safe from my desire to push you in to the lake. Perhaps eventually I will even let you in to the house. But do not feel that you know me now. The closer you get to me, the further away I go. The more I feel you can damage me, the more I will start locking the doors.
I’m locking the door now. I feel safer on my own upstairs in my private quarters. Only one person got to come in to my private quarters so far. But it’s long gone now. Just a wage memorie really. But nevertheless, the pain. The only pain that ever really impressed me. That and I imagine the pulling of my teeth if they hadn’t used anesthetics. But then again dentists always admired me for my courage and my high tolerance for pain.
So yeah my point being, one can’t just waltz in there and give me demands for my affections. My affections have to be earned. And even then I can take them away much quicker than I have bestowed them.
Also the fortress is a very nice metaphor for describing me. I don’t actually own crocodiles and alligators.
*Vlad the Impaler build a fortress, that is still standing using some real advanced building techniques, considering it was the 15th century at the time.
[video]
Tall, strong, shoulder length blond hair, emerald green eyes, caries a hammer. Also red cape :)
Hm, I wonder if friends call him MC Hammer? I know I would :D
Except Dylan Moran.